jackl’s blogOn the buses
Being a fully paid–up geek, when I’m unable to get to work under my own steam (I usually cycle) I use the bleeding–edge of public technology, the bus. I could place broken cocktail sticks in my trainers and walk the 6 miles but I prefer the masochistic delights of public transport.
It’s not all bad…
There is a lot to be said for using the buses:
- it’s environmentally–friendly
- it’s cheap travel (in comparison to the train or taxi)
- you can read a book or small newspaper/magazine
- you can listen to other peoples ipods/walkmans/mobile phone conversations.
Day 7; on the way to work
Just recently I have taken to carrying my laptop and my ‘brief–case’ to work so that I have the balanced look of a professional geek with a lot of lunch. This can cause problems when attempting to be a gentleman and offering to take a heavily burdened mum’s buggy on board for her. I fumbled with the embarrassment of not knowing how to fold the buggy, pick the damn thing up and do this while the entire bus waited impatiently for the wheels to go round and round.
The mum in question was obviously having a bad day and grunted a thank you as I finally ripped my ticket from the dispenser.
It may be that I'm starting to get exercise withdrawal symptoms (this does happen) but today even though I got my favourite position at the back of the bus (the back seat isn’t for pubescent teenagers it happens to be the seat with the most leg–room) I still had the grumpy–old–man demeanour.
I’m even starting to look like I should be standing on a small soap–box at Speakers Corner; my out of fashion spectacles and unruly male–pattern–baldness giving me the perfect “don’t sit next to me” signals.
Like the back of a bus
When I sat down I had the majority of the back bench seat to myself. Being typically English I sat in the corner of this seat in order to be as far away from my other travellers as possible. I got out my .net magazine and zoned out the rest of the bus/world. That was until four students decided the back of the bus was an ideal place to congregate. They were all girls, I would say ladies but the one sitting nearest to me showed me more of her errm seat than is pleasant in mixed company. The subtle blue–grey g–string might have been erotic in a more romantic setting but unfortunately buses and romantic went out with ‘Summer Holiday’ in 1963.
I did get the chance to hear one of the girls accompanying a tinny Justin Timberlake emanating from a tinny mobile phone speaker with the volume up too loud. All this for just £3.20. The dirty–mac brigade must be wasting a fortune on lap–dancers when they could get a ‘rover’ and spend a smutty day on the collage/university routes. Perhaps the bus companies advertising executives haven’t thought this one through?
The people on the Southend omnibus
Buses are ideal for people–watching. Anthropologists should be forced to be part–time conductors (if they existed anymore). You get to see people at work (mainly the driver), people at play (mainly pre–pubescent boys), people meeting their friends, people ignoring their colleagues and people trying to strike up conversations with complete strangers. It is the one place you can still see the cool and the desperately un–cool in the same place at the same time.
I think the newest generation of bus–users have found exciting new ways to be unsociable. Whereas our generation just stick our heads in books or The Sun to be left alone, the new generation has taken unsociability to the next level. Not only are they saying ‘don’t come near me’ they are doing it while checking their 4 billionth custom ring–tone or singing along X–Factor styl’ee to the audio dust spilling from their earphones.
For me the saving grace is to watch the young kids; at around the age of 3 they haven’t yet had the wide–eyed wonder of a bus journey bored out of them. They are a joy to watch (I’m definitely getting old).
Photo courtesy of Deborah Leventhal. Thanks Deborah.
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